Christmas Do

Cutting down of Co2 Emissions

Well we've reached the point in this series of blogs where we're discussing climate change and as I mentioned before, the world will most likely end if we don't change our ways drastically, and soon. Scientists have already proven that co2 emissions emitted by automobiles, factories and even human flatulance are to blame for the polar ice caps melting. So what do we aim to do about it??

Well just open the door and have a look as there are thousands of campaigns currently at work trying to do their bit, most of them shoving their pickett signs in your face, but who are really getting down to work? Well there are the major ones, being Greenpeace, WWF who are extremely affected by climate change and Campaign Against Climate Change who people actually respect. Greenpeace are constantly in the middle of campaining and have men and women often locked up for their protests, this being a prospect that is not new to them.

In Britain, someone who you's may recognise has been argueably influential in getting people to be more environmentaly friendly has been David Cameron, leader of the Conservative Party. After acting like a prick and demonstrating how he rides his bike he soon ended up getting clocked cycling through a red light and going the wrong way down a one-way road! Yeah thanks for the lesson you moron!

But over the course of this past year much campaigning has been done on his behalf as he sees it as being of the upmost importance. These have included fact-finding visits to Norway. with the WWF (okay not really a campaign). Also, because of Cameron's appeal and the fact that he genuinely is a good speaker has broadened the message of Global Warming to more people over the past 12 months and the word has spread like a drug, that some still refuse to inhale.

When it was announced several months ago that Heathrow would be extending their runway it was met with extreme discontent, not from WWF, or David Cameron (immediately) but this woman...

Yes Emma Thompson was red in the face, absolutely furious at the news. This though has just sybolised how far the message has come and that even rich people can know the difference between what's right and wrong.

Looking back this hasn't been a good year year for Global Warming, but it's been better than last year and let's hope next year's is even better.

Cheers

Turner

Christmas Don't

Your Back Pocket

Ladies and gentleman, this largest annoyance since the cheeky girls and the biggest strain since the cast of Eastenders did The Beatles on comic relief; The Recession.

If you're mine or Jack's age, maybe you're not feeling it so much, if your living off EMA and the pocket money you manage to scrounge every so often from your poor grandparent(s), then you might be alrite, but your parents probably won't be!

A lot of people ask, exactly how did this happen? How is nearly every country in the world up to their eyeballs in debt? Surely can't we just turn a blind eye and let it pass? These are of course, very good questions, and if you've already considered some of these solutions then me and you should have a crafty tea sometime, but I think that you and I know it is not that simple.

Theres no definitive way to describe exactly how the recession started, but I'll try and give one explanation. When you eventually crave dependence and wish to purchase your own home, you will come to discover that it is extremely expensive and may have to save up for a few weeks! Some people in the world do not realise this, they buy the house on credit. This means that they go to the bank and lick arse and get a loan which the bank know for a fine fact they will not be able to pay back, and surprise surprise they don't pay it back. At this point, banks re-possess the person's home to make up for the owed debt. But here lies a problem, property values have decreased significantly over the last few years, so by the time the banks possess all the loan monkey's possessions, and come to sell them, they are worth next to nothing compared to what the person owes, the person has nothing else to pay, and therefore is cleared of debt, leaving the bank 100k down. This happened in every bank, multiple times a week, for many many years. Debts build up with banks, just like with people.

Because of this debt, banks refuse to give loans to businesses which would be able to repay the loan, due to the fact that they have no money left, meaning businesses do not get any money, and therefore go bankrupt. When people find out the banks are in trouble, they rush to the bank and withdraw all their savings, or at least try to. The bank can refuse to give you your money, on the account that they do not have it, meaning YOU can charge THEM interest on when they must give you your money for. Until then, you will have no money and therefore will have to result to living in a bus station.

If you do manage to get your money, this will leave the bank even more in debt for the next person to come in and do the same. At this point, richer banks will lend money to other banks to try and get them out of debt, nice of them? No. People forget that banks, by themselves, do not have much money. The money Banks have is YOUR MONEY, if a bank lends another bank money, they are lending them your money. The second bank may now wish to start loaning again, and may come into more debt, in which case the first bank will become angry and demand money back, at this time the second bank will go to a third bank and lend money to pay the first bank, and the cycle will continue.

I'm sorry, I'm placing a lot of emphasis on how the banks are fucking up our economy, by no means is it all their fault. Do you own a credit card? If you do, I suggest you cut it up right now. Never spend money you do not have. Debit cards are fine, if you dont have enough money in the account, you won't be able to buy anything (discrediting overdraft), but with a credit card, you can buy as much as you want, and at the end of the month, as long as you don't read your post, you will get off scott free. Show off your three hungry kids, put on a show for the judge and hire a decent solicitor, and your raging debt will be wiped clean. But who deals with this debt? Exactly. No-one.

Don't blame the bankers for this recession, blame yourselves, or if you have to blame anyone, Blame the USA.

And please be gracious and don't blame Germany, they're doing very well for themselves, this is the first recession they've got out of without invading another country.

Cheers

Thompson

Christmas Do

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

Quite possible the most successful film of 2009 has become an international phenomenon since it's release to cinemas worldwide in January. With an already proven multi-award winning director Danny Boyle at the helm and a budget larger than Kerry Katona's breakfast to tuck into, it's not exactly hard to see why the film has been so successful.

When the film was released in January, it received rave reviews and the film grossed in £6 million in the first week and a half. The film was also extremely well recieved in India, well what do you expect, they love a good Bollywood film don't they?

The sudden success of the film thrust the stars into the media's limelight and gave the actors a platform to launch their careers. Dev Patel, a budding young actor who previously had starred in Brittish comedy drama 'Skins' was the biggest news along with Freida Pinto who had swept the nation with her beauty. The world was now their oyster, with all the chat shows who wanted them on their show to go and make a name for themselves. Eventually it was discovered that Dev and Freida are in a relationship, how did that happen??

When Oscar time came around Slumdog Millionaire was scooped up an extremely impressive 8 as it barged its way through the likes of The Dark Knight, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon and The Wrester. The Best Director award really contributed to placing Danny Boyle on the mantle as being one of the best Brittish directors around to date.

So where are they all now, and how has the film affected their careers? Well Dev and Freida and still apparently together but there is nothing big in the pipeline for either of them, although Dev was recently seen making a cameo appearance as a waiter in ITV1 drama 'Mister Eleven', lets just hope this was for a bet.

As for Danny Boy.....le he's apparently held off his sequel to 28 weeks later and has began on ventures new. He is developing a film based on the story of Aron Ralston, an American mountain climber who after getting his arm crushed under a boulder, spent five days thinking he was about to die and ended up cutting his arm off with a dull blade. Could be depressing? Could be awesome!!!

As for those funny little Slumdog kids who jumped into the poo and ran away on the train, stealing our hearts all the while. Well their parents beat them up and ended up trying to sell them to get rich, that's not even a joke.

So Slumdog Millionnaire has changed the life of everyone who has been a part of it (except the kids, but don't worry they'll just grow up and run away or something daft) and in the year 2009 everyone (except the kids) involved can look back with a smile.

Cheers

Turner

Christmas Don't

Simon Cowell

This story comes to you completely hot off the press!

The culminating events of this story were only confirmed tonight by the UK top 40 chart, when X factor winner Joe McElderry was beaten to the top spot by has-been angry rockers Rage Against The Machine, in an outrageous internet campaign which has gripped the nation.

It all started a few weeks ago, a bunch of cynics were fed up of Simon Cowell and the X factor gang always nabbing christmas number one, a honour which was previously seen as the ultimate prize in the UK Chart. So what did they do? What would be appropriate in today's lazy and unsophisticated society? Go on parade outside Buckingham Palace? Of course not. Phone Radio 1? No way. Start a Facebook Group? Yes.

Starting off small, then roughly 5 days later, escalating to the thousands, this group was sweeping the British media, even getting into the hands of Simon Cowell, who publically attempted to ridicule the campaign, which completely backfired and actually drew more supporters from the small minority of the population (including me) who do not have a facebook. What was the Groups plan? I will tell:

• Boycott the X Factor winner's single
• Spread the word religiously
• Instead, buy 90's angst track 'Killing in the Name' as a 'message' to all the cheesey pop money money money establishments blah blah blah

This campaign is based on people being awkward just for the sake of it.

People who bought the single, you were not spiting or inconveniencing Simon Cowell, both acts are signed to Sony, which SyCo has shares in. You have crushed the dreams of a humble 18 year old boy from the North East who once had a dream to get the christmas number one. It is completely unfair and you should be ashamed of yourself!

I suppose, to remain unbiased, the fact that such a heavy band getting a christmas number one is quite funny, I have always been a fan of the song, and I think the power of social networking has been proved well and truly.

Sorry Joe, it's shit for you.

Maybe next year

You're gonna be a superstar anyway, so take it with a pinch of salt.

Cheers

Thompson

Christmas Do

Books on 'How to fuck up your career indefinitely'

Now I think anyone who has at least stayed remotely in touch with the media for the past few months will have to agree that this has been a convingcingly terrible year for probobly the best golfer of all time, Tiger Woods. A man who people everywhere could look up to as a role model has been demoted to nothing more than a shameful slut.

Proffessionally, the year had started off well for Tiger as he returned from injury and throughout the earlier months of the year he won several majour tournaments including 2009 PGA Championship, The Memorial Tournament and The AT&T National (where according to recent media speculation he is supposed to have met and exchanged numbers with Jessica Simpson, but we'll come back to that). As the year progressed he then won more titles at the BMW Championships, The Fed Ex Cup and he came secone in the 2009 Presidents Cup. And that was about as good as things got for Tiger...

When November hit, the tabloids claimed that Tiger had been cheating on his wife of two years, however his wife stayed by his side and denied the alligations. Things then took a crazier turn when Tiger was involved in a car crash and his wife helped him out of the mess. Only later, it has been discovered that the car crash was caused because he was being chased down by his wife after they had a heated argument, role models eh? However, he took personal blame for the crash.

Things then took another horrible turn as Jaimee Grubbs, a cocktail waitress from San Diego opened up publicly to US Weekly about how she had a two and a half year affair with Tiger. The evidence was undeniable as she produced voice clips and texts he'd sent her, there was no turning from it this time. Tiger was left with no alternative then to release an apology that was fully exploited by everyone and everything.

After this the floodgates opened with over a dozen women claiming to have slept with the golfer, leading to media frenzy that threatened to tarnish Tigers reputation forever, including facegroup sites called 'I've slept with Tiger Woods'. As a result of which he was forced to make another statement in which he apologized to his fans and family and admitted to the aligations, he then also used this to publically announce another break from golf (was anyone shocked? a few were perhaps but it was inevitable).

Gillette, who Tiger Woods was the face of, along with Thierry Henry and Roger Federer soon parted company with him, a major blow for him business wise but again, not a major shock.

As if the shitheap of this story couldn't get any higher, a mystery blond woman was then taken from his home in a stretcher to a nearby hospital. His wife wasn't living with him at the time, but media speculation bounced around the idea that it was his mother-in-law, and judging by how downhill this whole saga has ended up, it wouldn't be suprising.

Most recently even more women have came out and claimed to have slept with Golfing legend. And thus concludes Tiger Woods' 2009, unless there is another horrible twist or another shocking revelation. But 2010 has to mark the start of a new year and a fresh start for what we once always saw as an honest and decent proffessional. Let's hope he makes the most of it.

Cheers

Turner

Christmas Don't

This one could get emotional

Pop Stars

2009 Saw the death of one of the biggest musical icons of all time, Stephen Gately.

Not really.

There are many chapters of Michael Jacksons career, going from the young motown kid with an afro who was forced into showbizness along with his four brothers by his controlling father, to the solo heart throb and musical genius, with snake hips and feet like water, aswell as a fully-established and respected vocalist, he was also seen as one of the most grounding breaking dancers of his time, to the media-spoiled suspected paedophile with a plastic face and a theme park in his front garden, to eventually a man with with a mission, and that mission was to entertain, to come back into the mainstream and do exactly what he always loved.

The 'This is It' tour was scheduled begin in July 2009, with tickets smashing records and selling in mere seconds, the tour was one of the most anticipated tours, and probably the most anticipated comeback tour in pop history (even more than Take That!). Choreography was said to be staggering, Michael was back in vocal prime, and he was rumoured to be putting on one of the best shows that some had ever seen. Until Disaster Struck.

Michaels ongoing battle with addictions to prescripted medication for his respiratory system, the pain he was suffering due to being overworked, and relaxants finally caught up with him and On June 25 2009, 3 weeks before his tour was to start, he collapsed at his home in Los Angeles, he suffered a cardiac arrest and was rushed to hospital. He died soon after.

The world went into complete shock after this, his face took over every channel, no radio station could be found not playing a Michael Jackson song, and mourners from all over the world flocked to Los Angeles to mourn the death of the King of Pop.

I knew this photo would become significant somewhere down the line, so I decided to take it.

But Michael Jackson's death wasn't the only one to boost pop sales this year, Stephen Gately's death was probably even more unexpected, being only 33 years of age and in full fitness.

The Boyzone singer was in the middle of writing an autobiography, and also between Boyzone tours, who had recently reformed in the last few years. After a hugely successful comeback tour and more talk of brand new material, with the boyish inexperience left behind him, a steady bank account, a life partner, and a great voice, Stephen was once again at the peak of his life.

Stephen was on holiday in Majorca in October with his civil partner, when after a night out (which wasn't boozy may I add) he returned to his hotel and went asleep, he didn't wake up. He was found to have died of natural causes, more specifically, a disease in which fluid fills the lungs, not unsimilar to pneumonia.

The world did not react as chaotically as they did when Jacko died, but The UK felt a big blow to one of it's best loved Stars. Ireland was in ruins seeing one of their best home grown talents go to waste at such a young age, taken tragically by a disease which saw no reflection of the life he led and could not have been prevented.

Following his death, a cynical Journo, Jan Moir, tried to make a name for herself by poking fun at how the 'fairytale-esque ending of civil partnership has been tainted by Gately's death'. The UK responded ridiculously negatively to this, branding her a homophobic fool, rightly, and some even going to the extent of boycotting the Daily Mail. She was subsequently given the Stonewall 'Bigot of the Year' award. She is now rumoured to be working in Pizzarama on Hylton Road.

2009 has been harsh to pop stars, hopefully 2010 will see the birth of more pop icons rather than the deaths.

RIP Michael Jackson & Stephen Gately

You will both be dearly missed.

Cheers

Thompson

Christmas Do

English Football

When you look back at 2009 there are dozens of things you can highlight as being significant to English Football. Whether it be Englands qualification for the world cup next year, the sheer amount of goals that have been hammered into the nets so far this season, or even Jimmy Bullards emphatic return to the Premier League you can't deny how monumental this year has been for England, the players and its fans.

Throughout the two (almost 3)transfer markets that have been open in the past year the Premier League has seen a huge rise in foreign players being brought into the Premier League. This new surge has seen a vast amount of highly skilled proffessionals getting recognition in the best league there is when up until a few years ago, they never would have had the same chance. This is because a lot of managers now look abroad to finance their European dreams of cup glory in football these days, with Englands best players already contractually stuck to the likes of Chelsea and Aston Villa. This has then lead other managers onto the same path and the same destinations. So in the past year we have seen a flux of new never-before-seen talent from abroad. The likes of Thomas Vermalean, Gael Kakuta and this guy...

As well more foreign players being brought in from overseas this year has also seen more youngsters rise through the ranks and begin first team action. The likes of Theo Walcott who epitomise this had already started to do so by 2007/08 but this year has seen England hopefulls Keiron Gibbs and Jack Wilshire break into the Arsenal side and become prodical figures. Furthermore, the north-easts very own Jordan Henderson has become an influential figure on Wearside after being recalled from loan duty and Newcastle's Andy Carroll has been a vitol figure in their championship campaign. This is great for the sport, and for England to see its future tearing defenders to shreads.

If one big standout moment of 2009 for English Football had to be called it would possibly have to be The England National side's qualification to the 2010 world cup in South Africa. After coming off the back of a depressing defeat away to Ukraine England wanted to finish the campaign on a high with a win against Belarus, despite injury concerns. Nevertheless, as expected the team triumphed and emerged group winners (they were going to anyway, but it felt proper this way). Parading around a packed out Wembley at the end of a long, tough campaign the team deserved their place at World Cup, and at the top of the group. Next for the England team was the World Cup draw and once again they were drawn in a favourable group.

On the subject of the World Cup, England will be looking at the exhibitionism of it all next year as well as the actual competition, and will imagine themselves being host nation in 2018. Englands bid has come a long way this year, from one of several candidates to the possible front-runner. I think that if we did get the right to host the World Cup, this country would owe a LOT to David Beckham because what that man has done is astonishing. As well as playing for his country, representing it across the world must be one grueling task. The FIFA board have now picked their band of Stadiums to host the games if we are to host the World Cup, although I believe this list will be wittled down to a smaller few. Almost every city with a stadium in it opted to host once they heard the news, even League Two clubs whose stadiums are only 20,000 max are throwing everything at the F.A.

So this year's been quite kind to England but next year is the biggy. Come'on England!

Cheers

Turner

Christmas Don't

Sincerest Apologies for my blatant lack of blogging, my Notebook totally fucked up, turns out it was the operating system. I'm currently using jolicloud on it instead of windows and I must say it's very impressive.

Anyway, down to business.

Leaving The House

2009 has been a cold and wet year, as Jack kindly mentioned, but with the things to do inside one's boudoir these days, why would you want to?

When the internet was invented, the excitement was of course expected, giving the public unlimited access to thousands of resources such as texts, videos and music from all over the world, just at the push of a button. But when the PC was turned off, they were no better off than where they started, they had nothing to show for it. This soon changed.

When Ebay first hit the internet, people said 'No-one will ever leave the house again, they will just buy everything from home.' A good few years down the line, they're not far off!

Following in Ebay's footsteps respectively have been Amazon, Play.com, HMV and even supermarket chains now have internet shops, where people can buy things from the latest CD's and computer games, to Milk!

So we had shopping, but what about communication? A person would go mad staying in by themselves all day! E-mail gave people a way of sending each other messages, originally quite formal, as the speed it took to send an email, and then go through the process so that the recipient could view it, was very lengthy. Then came instant messenger, people could send each other messages instantly 'hence its name' and time delays were a thing of the past. But what if we wanted to share pictures with each other? What if we wanted to play games with each other?

Social Networking sites such as Myspace then came onto the scene, people could comment each other's photographs and post messages to each other, even if the recipient was offline, which instant messengers then could not do. But where could we go from here?

2009 saw the success of one of the biggest crazes to conquer the world since Pokemon, where communication was as easy as the pressing of a button, providing you kept it under 140 characters! Twitter gained users from every tom dick and harry like you and me, to huge celebrities like Demi Moore and even the President of the United States! It's simplicity unique and it's accessibility unlimited, Twitter became the definitive second generation in social networking.

At this rate we will never see daylight again, we will all weigh 40 stone, and if we do manage to communicate verbally, we will do so being very cautious not to use over roughly 20 words in fear of being cut off. My prediction for 2010: rapid increase in home education courses, possibly even taught by lecturers on a live video feed. At last, chat rooms WON'T be banned in school, school will BE a chat room.

Cheers

Thompson

Christmas Do

Dinghy Owners

Now what may have turned out to a bad year for some areas of Great Britain i.e. Cumbria, Cockermouth (please be mature) and London due to freak, god- like weather may also have been a good year for those affected by it and those who had the chance to use the correct equipment when the time arrived.

CUMBRIA- A normal town in the west of England just minding its own, only to fall victim to torrential rainfall and subsequent flooding. Only the flooding reached such a scale that in some parts the water was reaching 8ft, leaving homes demolished and the people with no other option than to evacuate, 1/4 of the town were airlifted to safety. A large percentage of the town were dinghyed out of danger, as my picture demonstrates, as the water was too high to walk in. I bet the guys who had their dingys untouched in the attic for years didn't feel quite so stupid when this happened. A pristine,1st hand, one-of-its-kind speed-demon. You've saved up an entire 6 months worth of wages just to pay for it, but just like everything else, once you have it, it's never as good as you thought. So it sits in the storage cupboard collecting dust with all the other things you've given your heart to. Years pass and you forget it's even there. Until one day you see its raining. Then it's pouring. Next thing the waters up to the garage door. There's no chance of getting out to the car, it's underwater anyway. You put the news on and the news reader is talking about evacuations in your area. Suddenly you remember that dinghy that brought you joy when you saved up for it all those months ago. You and you're loved ones not only have a safe method of transport to safety, but the ability to help others. And this is what has happened in Cockermoth, Cumbria.

London also had been hit at the start of the year by horrendous snow, almost 'The Day After Tomorrow' like Blizzards which sent the capital into a standstill. Buses couldn't/wouldn't run, there was no transport fullstop, people weren't leaving their homes, CRISIS! How is this relevant to my 'Christmas Do' though? Well had people braced themselves for the cold of winter properly and had the city actually done something to control the situation before it happened i.e. prepared, then the whole situation could have been diverted. Just look at these guys on the dingys, they prepared and they were ready. Global Warming is real People, face it.

Cheers

Turner

Christmas Don't

First of all, apologies for my absence of blogging recently, severe laptop problems, culminating in me blogging from the ILC in college. Such a drag!

Now, another FAIL of 2009:

THE LABOUR PARTY

Since the introduction of Tony Blair in 1994, New Labour seemed to steadily rise and rise in popularity, climaxing in a 12 year (and ongoing) reign. Tony Blair was prime minister for ten years (1997-2007) which, although had it's bad points, is generally regarded as a successful accomplishment for Blair and it's quite plausible to say he did a decent job. Things weren't going too bad.

Until this man came along

Gordon Brown, known by some as the Prime Minister, others as a 'one-eyed scottish idiot' took the baton from Blair in 2007 and has ran with it ever since, in the wrong direction. Subsequently Team labour have left pole position and have been overtaken on the inside lane by the crafty conservatives led by David Cameraman.

Within Brown's time leading the country, we have seen further downfall of the NHS, hundreds of soldiers dying in Iraq (many not even knowing what they are there for), the monstrous 10p tax which was about as successful as Gary Barlow's solo career, consistency in our traditional 'let anyone into the country' immigration policies, and possibly the most important, lack of preparation for the global recession.

Fair enough, I may be putting too much blame on him for that one, the global recession is effecting every country, and could not have been avoided, and of course the recession was inevitable, making his power unjust in preventing it, considering he only started in 2007. But do you know what Gordon Brown's job was before he was prime minister? Chanceller of the Exchequer. Job before that? Shadow Chanceller of the Exchequer. Sorry, am I severely unintelligent, or does the main content of that job entail supervising and reviewing the economic and financial status of our country, daily?

The 2009 By-elections seen a great gain in Conservative mps being elected locally, and the 2010 election is predicted to take the same form, with Conservatives predicted to gain the vast majority of seats in parliament and therefore Davey C will be moving into number 10.

This is further supported by The Sun's sensational change in politics, and news they are now backing the Torys to take the gold in 2010, an election which I will finally be eligible to vote in, a stunt which I have planned since I was about 12.

Cheers

Thompson

Christmas Do

Lady Gaga

(Oh dear)

Once again, before I unleash this blog before thee I am going to say that I am not a fan of Lady GaGa, at all. Nor is my co-blogger Chris Thompson but this has undoubtedly been a good year for him as a musician (if that's what he's classed as).

2009 started off well for Gaga as he rode the success of his debut album 'The Fame'. Several months beforehand Gaga had released several extremely successful songs from this album, these being 'Pokerface' and 'Just Dance', both of which were number 1's and were heavily overplayed. He finished the year off with a largely successul combined tour with New Kids on The Block (a bit random I know).

As 2009 began, he kicked off his 'Fame Ball Tour' to promote the release of his album. and was riding a whirlwind of success. Gaga then reached a new height when he featured on the front cover of the annual 'Hot 100' issue of Rolling Stones magazine covered in nothing but bubbles.

When the summer came Gaga played most of the festivals both in the U.K. and overseas including a very well received set at Glastonbury. A month later he was then nominated for nine awards at the MTV video music awards for which he walked away with a repectable 3.

Perhaps Gaga's most sincere turn was in October when he was in Washington D.C. attending a Human Right's Campaign's National Dinner. He then went on to pledge his support by taking part in the 'National Equality March'. He then got on to a podium with a microphone and started talking about gay rights. He then began to perform a rendition of 'Imagine', only changing some lyrics to reference a murder that is pivotal for Gay rights. Regardless of it's sincerity, it was a poor cover, as was the time he tried Coldplay's 'Viva la Vida'.

Soon after this Gaga released his second album to the public, 'The Fame Monster' (not exactly original) which was initially supposed to coincide with the release of 'The Fame'. It has so far only reached no.7 on the album chart but give it time you never know. 'Bad Romance' however, the first single released from the album has topped all of the charts, UK, US, Australia and Ireland.

2009 has almost reached it's finale and i'm sure Gaga will look back at what he has achieved and be happy, but the question is will he feel the same next year? And if you're wondering why i'm referring to Lady Gaga as HE then just look at this...

Cheers

Turner

Christmas Don't

I regretfully inform you that the following band are no more

2009 arguably sported one of the biggest blows to British Music since Freddie Mercury died, the Death of OASIS.

Some background information for you undesirables out there who do not care for the Brit Pop Icons;

• Formed in 1991 when Liam Gallagher joined struggling manc band 'The Rain', he suggested the band change their name to Oasis, after a venue he often noted 'Oasis Leisure Centre - Swindon' on an Inspiral Carpets poster his bedroom sported. After watching one of their gigs, Liam's brother Noel asked to join the band, on condition that he would be sole song writer and band leader.
• Debut Album 'Definitely Maybeentered UK Charts at Number 1
  
• Scored first UK number one single in 1995 with 'Some Might Say
• Have won 15 NME awards, 8 Q awards, 5 Brit Awards, 5 Grammys, a Mercury Prize and a partridge in a pear tree.
• Have had 8 UK Number one Singles and all of their Official Release Albums have entered at Number one.

On the 10th June 2009 Sunderland saw one of the biggest bands of UK music history play at our local football stadium and create such a media surge and culutural impact that it was hard to concentrate on anything but Oasis. Excitement had built for months, and the resulting gig turned out to be one of the most amazing spectacles that many of us had ever seen.

Just over 2 months later, Oasis had split.

What went Wrong?

The Gallagher Brothers have been feuding for years, and have always had the sense and decency to patch things up after every spat, regardless of the circumstances, however this time things went too far for one of them. It is not known exactly what happened, speculation states that Liam made a comment that Noel was not actually the father of one of his children, but this is purely of rumour, what we do know is a huge argument erupted between the two resulting in Noel abandoning the band indefinitely.

Both Liam and Noel plan on persuing further music careers with Liam and the remaining line-up of Bro-asis intending on recording more material and Noel intending on going it alone.

We're all aware of the 'Battle of Britpop', could history repeat itself and see two brothers battling it out in the charts fueled by hate and spite? Who knows.

It is sad to see Oasis go, some argued they outstayed their welcome, I disagree, although their newest material may not be as amazing as it used to be, they definitely still knew how to put on a show when i seen them.

RIP Oasis

Cheers
Thompson

Christmas Do

Twilight

Now before I begin this i'm going to say that i've never actually seen one of the Twilight movies and nor have I wanted to, but that is just through personal taste and if that makes me small minded or stubborn then don't bully me for my flaws.

When 'Twlight' was released in November 2008 it attracted possibly the largest fanbase for a movie I'd ever seen since the first Harry Potter was released. A sparkling cast of flourishing young actors and a fresh story about vampires and young love was released to the public and they lapped it up. The film reaped in a huge $35.7 million in the US on it's opening day and was just as successful on this side of the water. So what do you do to all hugely successful movies that have a giant fanbase? Franchise it.

Then came 2009...

2009

As the success of 'Twilight' grew so did that of its stars, most notably its leading man, Robert Pattinson. Once the film hit the cinemas Robert became a sex icon among women and was voted the sexiest man alive by People Magazine. Not bad for a guy who's just gone from relatively un-known.

Elsewhere pre-production already began on the second installment of the franchise, 'The Twilight Sage: New Moon' which was set to top the benchmark set by the first movie. This ofcourse meaning the director and production team were funded with more money for special effects and a better chance to produce a big-bidget movie.

Unfortunately the fans had to wait a year to get their treat as the finishing touches were applied and post-production was carried out. Luckily enough the producers didn't rush the film for the fans sake and actually did what THEY want. You gotta realise guys, it was only a year and a month ago the last one was released, give them time!

So just like last year 2009 has been a good year for the Twilight saga. I wonder how next year will pan out with the release of 'The Twilight Saga: Eclipse'. Most likely, just the same way this one has, a profound success.

Cheers,

Turner

Christmas Don't

Brace Yourselves

Katie Price



Fair Enough, Katie Price has never been very popular with any respectable member of the general public, with the exception of Peter Andre who we all adore, but this year has been a particularly terrible one for Katie Price, and the downward spiral which is her life has yet to level out.

2009 Didn't start off too bad for Jordan, her own TV show on ITV 2 respectively with her devoted and adored husband Peter Andre, an enterprise of children and adult books (which are atrocious by the way, but still bestsellers), still doing regular photoshoots for whichever warped person would actually want her to, and on top of that, still managing to see her kids every so often. Life was not too bad! But then, disaster struck!

Her husband couldn't take her nonsense anymore!




Yes, on 15 May 2009, it was announced that Peter Andre and Katie Price had ended their 3 and a half year marriage, the reasons hazy, but we all made an educated guess that her selfish, self-centric behaviour had probably proved too much for Andre and he decided to break it off. Who could blame him?

People love the underdog, and this was no exception, the general public completely stood behind Andre in the whole ordeal and developed yet another hatred for cosmetic Katie. At a time like this, a celebrity may only have a small group of people to turn to, and that is their management team, however in a shocking turn of events they ALSO took Andre's side and completely DROPPED Katie from their roster, signing Andre instead!

Less than a month later it was announced that Katie was shacking up with Former Hollyoaks Star-Turned Mixed Martial Arts Fighter-Part Time Crossdresser and Theatrical Rapist Alex Reid, which the press had a field day with. At this time Andre remained Graceful and gentleman-like, which angered her even more!

Her face was not out of the tabloids for the next few months, a story here, a story there, usually revolving round her bizzare new romance and her foolish antics, Soon it was September which was another terrible month for Katie;

'In September 2009 Katie was heard complaining about the scars on her breasts left from cosmetic surgery. This angered breast cancer sufferers as Katie recently did a photoshoot for Asda's tickled pink breast cancer awareness campaign. As a result Katie was dropped by Asda.'

Now that has got to come as a blow, not only have you been dropped by your husband and your management team, YOU HAVE ALSO BEEN DROPPED BY A MEDIOCRE SUPERMARKET.

In the same month she caused a tabloid field day again, when she sensationally claimed that she had been raped by a "famous celebrity".
That is low, trying to win sympathy votes by crying rape?

As if things couldn't get any worse for Katie, she was also grilled by American comic Chelsea Handler live on American Television, completely stranded without a paddle.



Katie was at the lowest point of her career. Or so we thought?

In November, she decided to return to the jungle in 'Im a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here' AGAIN in a desperate effort to win the public trust back? Did we ever give her it? Needless to say this completely failed and in the 8 days she spent there before walking out due to sheer embarrassment, the public voted for her to participate in a disgusting trial an amazing SEVEN CONSECUTIVE TIMES!

Within her time on the show she dumped boyfriend Alex Reid LIVE on television, that's cold even for her.

2009 hasn't ended very well for Katie Price, perhaps she could turn things round in 2010, but it would take something special to do that.

Cheers
Thompson

Christmas Do

On the first Do of Christmas Jack Turner said to me;

Subo who?

Throughout the months of April and May in 2009 the nation was taken by storm as the media circled around one woman. A woman with a voice that could break your heart, but a face that could turn your stomach.

This woman was Susan Boyle, from West Lothian, Scotland. She had travelled all the way to Glasgow for the auditions of Britain's Got Talent with the dream of 'being a proffessional singer like Elaine Page'. This was with the motivation she had taken from her mothers death as she intended to pay homage to her by becoming a success (don't they all have a story). Needless to say turning up dressed in an old yellow dress and unbrushed hair, aswell as making an arse out of herself got things off to a rocky start, with Simon rolling his eyes as it looked to be another one of those auditions we would come to remember and laugh at when the end of the series came. But once the chatting faded and the music began to play, she sang. But what came out wasn't horrible, but a strong and distinguished voice that really carried the song. The audience erupted into appaluse and with dollar signs in his eyes Simon Cowell licked his lips as he realised the newest talent that was just about to grace him his money.

So Susan Boyle progressed to the next stage of the competition with ease and on youtube the clip of her actual audition was reaching record heights for views. As it stands over 80 million people have viewed it. Within a week of that performance she was doing guest appearances on Scottish TV's 'The Five Thirty Show' and soon after she was on 'The Oprah Winfrey Show', 'Larry King Live' and CBS'S 'The Early Show'.

But soon enough the competition reached it's climax with thousands of contenstants being given the boot before this stage and it came to these two. Subo, and Diversity, a highly skilled team of urban break-dancers that deserved there place.

Who was it to be?.......................................................DIVERSITY!!!! Despite the fact that Susan Boyle was favourite to win ever since that first audition she only came in second place.

Nevertheless 4 months later she was in a recording studio, putting the finishing touches on her first album so it couldn't have been that bad coming second place. 'I dreadmed a dream' as it is called, named after the track which she sang in that famous audition and also features in the album is Amazon.com's best selling album and is the fastest selling UK debut album. So congratulations Subo.

So 2009's been a great year for Susan Boyle, maybe 2010 will be too. Either way, she couldn't look any worse then she did this year...

cheers,

Turner

Tomorrow

Yes, tomorrow night will be the first official post in the series 'The 12 Do's of Christmas and the Don'ts of Christmas Past'

I am delighted to say that Jack will be making the first post in the series, and I have no clue what he is going to post about, so let's hope it's a good one to kick things off! No Pressure!

I might have a go at changing this Old Blog's layout to make things more festive, but be warned it could end in disaster.

I have a swastika made out of holly in mind, any objections to a nazi christmas?

Cheers
Thompson

We're Back

Yes after a slow but sure transition period of 'going back to college' The Blog is back again and we have a plan for you!

Soon we will be posting a Blog series entitled 'The 12 Do's of Christmas and The Don'ts of Christmas Past'

The Blog will describe what was good in 2009, what 2009 will be remembered for and who benefitted from this cold year.
But on the other hand it will also make fun of who epic failed in 2009, and will most likely be celebrating the new year more than anyone.

We hope you enjoy these next dozen or so blogs, and are glad to be back doing what we love best;
Talking Shit!

Cheers
Thompson