Ladies and gentleman, this largest annoyance since the cheeky girls and the biggest strain since the cast of Eastenders did The Beatles on comic relief; The Recession.
If you're mine or Jack's age, maybe you're not feeling it so much, if your living off EMA and the pocket money you manage to scrounge every so often from your poor grandparent(s), then you might be alrite, but your parents probably won't be!
A lot of people ask, exactly how did this happen? How is nearly every country in the world up to their eyeballs in debt? Surely can't we just turn a blind eye and let it pass? These are of course, very good questions, and if you've already considered some of these solutions then me and you should have a crafty tea sometime, but I think that you and I know it is not that simple.
Theres no definitive way to describe exactly how the recession started, but I'll try and give one explanation. When you eventually crave dependence and wish to purchase your own home, you will come to discover that it is extremely expensive and may have to save up for a few weeks! Some people in the world do not realise this, they buy the house on credit. This means that they go to the bank and lick arse and get a loan which the bank know for a fine fact they will not be able to pay back, and surprise surprise they don't pay it back. At this point, banks re-possess the person's home to make up for the owed debt. But here lies a problem, property values have decreased significantly over the last few years, so by the time the banks possess all the loan monkey's possessions, and come to sell them, they are worth next to nothing compared to what the person owes, the person has nothing else to pay, and therefore is cleared of debt, leaving the bank 100k down. This happened in every bank, multiple times a week, for many many years. Debts build up with banks, just like with people.
Because of this debt, banks refuse to give loans to businesses which would be able to repay the loan, due to the fact that they have no money left, meaning businesses do not get any money, and therefore go bankrupt. When people find out the banks are in trouble, they rush to the bank and withdraw all their savings, or at least try to. The bank can refuse to give you your money, on the account that they do not have it, meaning YOU can charge THEM interest on when they must give you your money for. Until then, you will have no money and therefore will have to result to living in a bus station.
If you do manage to get your money, this will leave the bank even more in debt for the next person to come in and do the same. At this point, richer banks will lend money to other banks to try and get them out of debt, nice of them? No. People forget that banks, by themselves, do not have much money. The money Banks have is YOUR MONEY, if a bank lends another bank money, they are lending them your money. The second bank may now wish to start loaning again, and may come into more debt, in which case the first bank will become angry and demand money back, at this time the second bank will go to a third bank and lend money to pay the first bank, and the cycle will continue.
I'm sorry, I'm placing a lot of emphasis on how the banks are fucking up our economy, by no means is it all their fault. Do you own a credit card? If you do, I suggest you cut it up right now. Never spend money you do not have. Debit cards are fine, if you dont have enough money in the account, you won't be able to buy anything (discrediting overdraft), but with a credit card, you can buy as much as you want, and at the end of the month, as long as you don't read your post, you will get off scott free. Show off your three hungry kids, put on a show for the judge and hire a decent solicitor, and your raging debt will be wiped clean. But who deals with this debt? Exactly. No-one.
Don't blame the bankers for this recession, blame yourselves, or if you have to blame anyone, Blame the USA.
And please be gracious and don't blame Germany, they're doing very well for themselves, this is the first recession they've got out of without invading another country.
Cheers
Thompson
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