state of mind

I have always been interested in how thoughts represent our state of mind as human beings. Whether it be stable, depressed, happy or woeful. Thoughts obviously can't be read so it is up to the beholder to bestow them upon people such as psyciatrists and friends etc. Therefore it is important that you always have a tentative ear at the ready for those around you because you never know what you may come out of their mouth (that was never meant in a dirty manner!), like what you will following this.

First of all. HOMOSEXUAL THOUGHTS. I have always wondered if having homosexual thoughts meant you were gay so to me it has always felt like a dark area to tread on. One must always turn his attention to the nearest thing, the xbox! the telly! porn mags! ah that's me safe for another day. But what if something else comes up from out of the blue? You're just flicking through the channels on virgin telly or something, watching sky sports or something, flicking down like I have done numerous times before and then by accident I've landed on the porn channels and lo and behold it's the gay tv nightly channel. Panic courses the veins like a venom and you just start pressing anything on the remote, up, down, left, right, then finally you're back on the football. Ahh safe for another day.

But then it came about again today out of the blue, harshly. I've just been watching a documentary on BBC with my family about a team of athletes journeying to the south pole. The programme itself was good but that's irrelevant. There was a scene when one of the men, a former olympic athlete was inside a tent receiving treatment for a wound and he was contemplating whether or not they could continue the trip. I had been thinking of ways the programme could have all of a sudden been made funnier by something inexplically out of the blue. One of which was that the doctor would reveal that he wasn't even a doctor and sprint out of the tent. The other one, which is far more sinister was a parody of brokeback mountain. The film in short in which two gay cowboys make love to each other. I seriously don't know where this came from and my laughing at myself draw strange looks from all angles of the room. Still though, I thought it would be funny.

Next up: MURDEROUS THOUGHTS. I frequently have murderous thoughts and they are thoughts that I am genuinely not afraid to admit to. If someone annoys you to the extent of making you feel that much agony, why not imagine yourself smothering their face with a pillow? Or if ts your style ofcourse. I personally favour common street knife, 'Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savor all the... little emotions' in the words of the late, great Heath Ledger from The Dark Knight. Everyone has had murderous thoughts and they would be lieing if they said they never, the amount will vary though for every person. So whether that means that me having frequent thoughts about murdering people means that I am psycotic is questionable.It could be stress. And what better way to deal with it? As long as I wasntto push it to the limits like Christian Bale's character is American Psycho. Personally I really feel the chances of that would be minute, I'd be too scared of what would happen if I got caught in the process, probobly beaten up by the person I was trying to kill, then thrown in jail anyway! Knowing my luck that would happen.

I also had another murderous thought today, but in a very light-hearted manner if that's possible. When I was watching Mock the Week on thursday night frankie boyle made a joke about Joey out of friends on the final round. The chosen subject was 'worst person to share a flat with' and Frankie stepped up and said 'oh we're gonna have so much fun my last apartment was just like friends have you not seen the one where joey kills everybody!!' and at the end he morphs into a bit of a lunatic. Three days later I haven't thought about the joke until now and I today I suddenly penned an entire movie for this one joke frankie boyle made. This is what the FRIENDS movie should be about, not some happy sappy romcom like sex and the city but some intense thriller that will spark the career of Matt le Blanc who lets face it, really needs it after the mess that was 'Joey'. If a director or producer (im not sure how the film industry works) went up to the big boys at Universal and told of this idea, im sure they would get something rolling. If not a couple of scriptwriters working on something then at least muffin or two for their trouble. But in this film, because it was so in depth I can't go into it all I will only give you a basic outline. By the way I am not too sure about what happened in Joey so this would just follow a few years on from friends. Basically, three years after the departure of Monica and Chandler from the apartments we discover that Rachael and Ross have also been married and have moved next to Monica and Chandler, leaving Joey more upset but he came to terms with it thanks to Phoebe and Mike who still live in the city. When Mike's father dies and Phoebe declares that she is pregnant, they decide that it is best to start a family in suburbia, out of the city. This news pushes Joey over the edge, triggering a long line of mental illness that none of his friends were ever aware off. As they try to help him, he travels to they cosy home and picks them all off one by one in a horrific bloodbath while chandler races back to the city the two cross paths leading in a confrontation in central perk.

Turner